It’s been 21 beautiful and exhausting months since I became a mother. My husband and I were married six years before we decided to take the plunge into parenthood.

I wouldn’t say we ‘always wanted’ to have a kid. We had no preconceived notions or specific parenting plans. We like to believe that we waited for when it ‘felt right’ to have our first child.

Ever since I had my daughter, it’s been amazing to discover how much you can love a tiny human that you have to feed, bathe and clean up after. What is not amazing is the constant feeling of ‘mom guilt’.

I’m a freelance journalist and content writer, and as a working mom, I constantly feel I am not doing enough for her or spending enough time with her. I know it’s never enough, and that inner battle is a constant challenge.

I never thought it was an option to stop working after having my daughter. I used to do the same thing full-time, but I decided to go freelance to give myself some flexibility in juggling both roles. I’m proud of the work I do, and it’s as much a part of who I am, as my child is.

Challenges? I used to think I could work from home, but if you leave your laptop unattended on the couch, a toddler may decide to use it as a plaything. If any of my work contacts have received emails with ‘sudgsgufgefiuegfiusdcjs’ or something in the body copy, it wasn’t me!

Also, I sometimes have to hide in the bathroom to take work calls if I’m at home. Or maybe the person on the other end may have to hear my toddler singing ‘Wheels on the Bus’.

I am lucky that I am doing this with a supportive husband, and a very loving helper slash babysitter. There are women around the world doing much more without any help or support.

I think it’s important to figure out what works for you as a woman. What drives you? If being a full-time, stay at home mom works for your family, then go for it. I like to think that what I do works for my family, and myself.



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Arman Shah

A former travel writer with fond memories of solo adventures in Southeast Asia, Arman is now Founder of The Everyday People. He's also the co-host of Channel Empathy, a podcast about the marginalised in Singapore.