Sending Heartfelt Mail to Socially-Isolated Elderly in Nursing Homes

What happened when a tight-knit group of former JC schoolmates came together during the circuit breaker? In this particular instance, Hey, You Got Mail! was born.

In our very first episode of A Singapore Story, we find out from team member Wei Lin why they felt it was important to send personalised, handwritten mail to the socially-isolated elderly in Singapore’s nursing homes.

Producer/Interviewer: Arman Shah

Video/Editing: Naufal Azman

Like Us On Facebook

Follow Us On Instagram

everydaypeoplesg

Everyone has an incredible and inspiring story to share. These are such stories by the everyday people in Singapore. #everydaypeoplesg

“I grew up in Turin, a city in the north of Ital

“I grew up in Turin, a city in the north of Italy. It’s an elegant city like Milan, known for its beautiful architecture and cuisine. It’s also considered the chocolate capital of Italy.

My parents, however, were originally from the south. My dad was a pastry chef and owned a bakery selling traditional pies and cakes. When I was young, I would help him with production every morning before I went to school in the summer.

But he wasn’t the reason why I wanted to become a chef. I started cooking as a kid when I helped my mother and grandmother make pasta for our family reunion every Sunday. There would be about 15 to 20 people in this three-storey house, and everyone would help.

When I was in junior high, I decided that I was going to be a chef. I was about 10. There was no Internet back then; no food programmes on TV like the ones you have now. No one in my family worked in hospitality. The decision to be a chef was an independent one.

I’ve been a chef for literally half my life now. I’m 38 this year and started working when I was 19. During that period, I travelled the world and worked as a chef in many countries and cities like Brazil, Egypt, Sydney and Singapore.

I worked in Sydney and decided to come to Singapore one day for a holiday. I had my backpack with me and literally walked around the entire city. In two days, I think I must have given a copy of my CV to practically every Italian restaurant in Singapore.

When I returned to Sydney, I got a call back from some Italian restaurants. I did a couple of interviews and video calls and thought, ‘Right, let’s give this Singapore experience a try.’ And that’s how I came to work here these past four years.

I was eager to try Singapore because the people here love and understand food. In certain places I’ve worked, they didn’t accept my traditional way of making Italian food. They liked ‘fake’ Italian food, like putting cream in the carbonara or avocado on their pizzas.

[Story continues in comments section]

“I was that fat kid for most of my childhood. I

“I was that fat kid for most of my childhood. I just remember liking to eat a lot in school. You cannot find many photos of me from back then because I tried to avoid taking pictures as much as possible. I would also wear a lot of hoodies and sweaters to hide my silhouette.

I rarely checked my weight when I was younger; I was too scared to find out what it was. But one time, while I was on holiday with my family, I felt curious and stepped on one of those weighing scales you find in the hotel toilet. My weight was 97 kg.

Yes; I was made fun of by other kids. My name is Afiq, but my friends would call me Ah Pig, or Ah Bui, which is ‘fat boy’ in Chinese. But I never felt bullied or victimised. There were just kids being kids. I was mentally quite strong; I knew this kind of stuff would pass one day.

I started growing facial hair in sec two. So every time I walked past the mirror, I felt like a freak because I’d see the reflection of this fat, hairy kid looking back at me. But honestly, I enjoyed being fat. You could eat whatever you want and nobody would say anything.

Whenever my friends couldn’t finish their food, they’d let me finish it. Even my family treated me like their trash can when we went out to eat. I actually considered being a competitive eater when I was younger because I loved eating so much.

But things took a turn when I was 16. I was going through puberty and, you know, developing feelings at that age. I really liked this girl in class, although I had no intention of telling her. I did tell another classmate, but this classmate broke my trust and told her.

When the girl found out, she went up to me and said, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t like fat boys.’ Wah! I wasn’t even planning to confess my feelings to her, so I didn’t really care what she thought of me. But that kind of changed everything.

From then on, I took care of my diet a little bit more. I was that person who never passed his NAPFA test. I failed my 2.4 km; shuttle run; standing board jump. But suddenly, I took PE classes more seriously. I actually made an effort to run...

[Story continues in comments section]

“I was a bookworm from the time I was young. Boo

“I was a bookworm from the time I was young. Books were a way for me to disappear into another world when things around me were difficult, challenging or weren't that interesting and appealing as a kid.

I lived near a library so books were always within reach. My mum used the library as a free tuition and childcare centre [laughs], so she was more than happy to leave me there for an hour or two as I read and discovered new worlds. I have never lost the love for books since.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. All the way up to college, I was surrounded by very prolific peers who had already published a certain number of books by a certain age. I too wanted to write a book, but at the time, I realised that I didn’t have a book in me. [laughs]

Art, however, was my second voice. I discovered that I could float more comfortably and easily in poetry and photography. At a time when you couldn’t use mobile phones to take pictures, I would carry a compact camera with me everywhere I went.

Photography allowed me to literally introduce a point of view and demonstrate a way of seeing. You’re framing the world and showing only what you want to. You exclude everything else, and I think that’s similar to poetry where you leave out as many words as possible.

As I talk to other writers, poets and artists, I realised that the biggest difference between us is my need to move from room to room in my head. When the photo part of me needs to rest and recharge, I’ll step into the next room to explore another area of my mind and artistry.

So nowadays, as a multi-disciplinary artist, I often move across media. When I produce an exhibition that features photography, I’ll often incorporate other elements like a drawing, sculpture or textile. It’s something I try to do now as the Artistic Director of Textures.

Textures is a festival that was developed to encourage the reading of SingLit. It was originally meant to be a weekend programme. But three years ago, while working with a producer from The Arts House (@theartshouse) called Lisa, we transformed it into a month-long festival.

[Story continues in comments section]

“I gave myself a shot in the corporate world. I

“I gave myself a shot in the corporate world. I studied Business Analytics at a local university. It was a three-year degree, but I took two extra semesters for six month-long internships. I wanted to know for sure if this was the life I wanted.

But I had to work overtime almost everyday. I was dealing with global clients, taking calls at strange hours, and rushing out decks that nobody was going to see at the end of the day. I figured out very early on that this corporate life was not for me.

What many people don’t know is that while I was in uni, I was also teaching parkour in the evenings, and the moment I graduated, I registered for yoga classes. I wanted to explore what this discipline had to offer, while figuring out what it’d be like to be a yoga teacher.

To be spiritual about it, if you are fortunate enough to receive signs from the universe, it’ll do you good to act upon them. I did, and went down a path that saw me teaching yoga for three years.

I enjoy teaching as well as playing to my strengths. If I could do something that I enjoyed and was good at, why not? It was the perfect fit: this career allowed me a lifestyle my peers could never dream of. The money was decent, and the time freedom was excellent.

Teaching fulfilled me in ways slide decks and dashboards could never. My journey began at a boutique studio where I completed my Teacher Training and eventually had the privilege to be a part of the teaching team.

But when COVID-19 hit Singapore, the smaller yoga studios suffered. Yoga studios are businesses after all, and Yoga was deemed non-essential during the circuit breaker. We were facing reductions in both the number of classes and our pay.

At the time, I was teaching at four studios concurrently, but it still was not sustainable. I was offered the opportunity to move to a more established studio, and I accepted the role, largely for financial reasons, though at the expense of forgoing my current engagements.

(Story continues in comments section)

“I have ADHD, which is short for Attention Defic

“I have ADHD, which is short for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I used to always joke that I had ADHD. I thought I might have had a couple of traits or displayed certain symptoms, but I was never privy to how severe my condition actually was.

When friends pointed out certain patterns in my behaviour, I began to do my research. I learnt that ADHD comprises two broad spectrums of behaviour. I took some certified tests online and, needless to say, the results affirmed that I was high on both spectrums.

The two spectrums of behaviour are 1) inattentiveness and 2) hyperactivity and impulsiveness. Some signs of inattentiveness include having a short attention span, being easily distracted and an inability to stick to tasks that are tedious or time-consuming.

Other signs of ADHD – this time on the hyperactivity and impulsiveness spectrum – include constant fidgeting, excessive talking, interrupting conversations, being unable to wait your turn, acting without thinking and having little or no sense of danger.

Honestly, the list of behaviour associated with ADHD is endless, and what people on the outside don't realise is that not everyone with ADHD has similar symptoms. It is also a large part of our character; who we are! It explains a lot about the way I think.

I think boxing has helped me manage my ADHD because it forces me to concentrate and stay calm, which is something I am still working on improving, given that my mind often goes into overdrive.

For example, when I’m learning how to throw the jab, I don’t get impatient or lose focus, even though there's repetition involved. There are different ways to throw a jab, and I have to consider so many moving parts, depending on the desired goal and opponent I'm up against.

That's not to say I don't get frustrated with myself and overthink things. It's a constant battle in my head. But at the end of the day, I try to shut off all unnecessary thoughts and just focus on the doing.

[Story continues in comments section]

“It’s tough to describe what a jump feels like

“It’s tough to describe what a jump feels like until you’ve done it yourself. Even after you’ve jumped, it’s still hard to put into words how it feels. But I would say that it is very freeing. You let go of everything, and you just free fall.

Bungee jumping is not about overcoming your fear of heights. You don’t really overcome it. Even as a jumpmaster, I would still feel scared if you asked me to stand on the edge without a safety line. Bungee jumping is more about dealing with your fear at that moment.

You need to have complete trust in the people that you work with. You also need complete faith that the safety line will prevent a fatal fall. That’s why at Skypark Sentosa by AJ Hackett, we always emphasise safety and check our equipment before we do anything.

Skypark Sentosa is a 40-metre tower that was purposefully built with a bungee and giant swing. We have a safety pool which is 3.5 metres deep. This is quite cool, because not a lot of bungee sites offer water touches as part of the overall experience.

And it’s nice that we get to enjoy a beach site location at Sentosa. We’re the tallest point at Siloso Beach, so we can see far out. And the view of the sunset from the top of the tower is something you need to see.

My blood, sweat and tears are literally in this tower. Me and John Dealy – he’s a jumpmaster from Australia who trained me to become a jumpmaster – built this tower with contractors and a few other pioneering members. We were actually part of the construction.

I remember from the time the lift wasn’t up yet. So every morning, when we had our safety briefing, I would always say, ‘Don’t forget your tools!’ Otherwise, you would have to go all the way down and climb 17 storeys up again.

I’m Singapore’s first local jumpmaster. To become a certified jump master, you need to conduct 1,250 customer jumps safely. I had to undergo training to acquire the knowledge and skills to work with ropes and bungee cords.

[Story continues in comments section]

“I was 10 when my mum introduced me to my first

“I was 10 when my mum introduced me to my first heavy metal band, Iron Maiden. From then on, I started to explore the local heavy metal scene and began attending gigs in Singapore. I would also go to Malaysia to attend gigs overseas.

When you listen to heavy metal, you can’t really hear or catch the lyrics. But when you search them up online, you realise that the lyrics really mean something. Listening to this ‘angry’ genre of music has helped me a lot with my anxiety and depression.

I started experiencing anxiety and depression when I was 10-years-old. Being the only Malay girl in Chinese Dance, I was bullied a lot in school. Although I was accepted by my friends and teachers in the CCA, I was ostracised by people of my own race.

The comments they made were so nasty and degrading. They’d say stuff like, ‘You confirm eat pig.’ This was far from the truth. When we were in Hong Kong for an event, my Chinese Dance teachers made sure the food I ate was Halal. I felt understood and accepted.

At a gig, you go into the mosh pit and crowd surf. And whenever someone falls, you pick them up so that no one gets hurt badly. At an event that is supposedly violent, I’m being well taken care of. But in primary school, I felt so attacked.

By the time I went to secondary school, kids didn’t find me weird anymore. There was more exposure and acceptance of the arts, so I was sort of looked at as cool. Some of the bullies started to act nice around me but it was too late. I didn’t care to be their friend anymore.

I think having uncles who were in a band in the 80s, and a mum who made me listen to metal when I was growing up, help explain how I look. My fashion is very much inspired by 80s metal. I love to express myself through striking hair, bold makeup and loud outfits.

But when I walk alone in public, I get stared at as if I’m an alien because of how different I look. Even when I get compliments, I’m not really sure if they are genuine. Maybe it’s because of what I went through in school, but I’m not used to getting compliments.

[Story continues in comments section]

“When I was in secondary two, a classmate asked

“When I was in secondary two, a classmate asked if I wanted to learn breaking. He started showing me dance moves like the handstand and six-step, and I thought this way of moving your body was really cool.

He also showed me videos of people spinning and standing on their heads, and that got me to participate in our school’s Talent Time competition. Back then, we were divided into different coloured houses, and with the help of my dance performance, my house won.

It was a great feeling because I didn’t know that you could actually win something through dance, and that sparked something in me. I’ve not stopped dancing ever since. I’ve now been dancing for 21 years, and I still get butterflies before I perform.

When I first started, I used to store my dance videos on YouTube. I remember getting a comment from a mum who had just lost her daughter to cancer. She was going through a hard time, but she shared that watching my dance videos helped lift her up.

I was like, ‘Wow! Dance could do that?’ And that made me want to dance even more. If I get to inspire even just one person out of a hundred through dance, I am happy. Now, I get to inspire others through teaching. I’ve been teaching dance for 11 years.

It was never on my mind to teach. I didn’t even know of dance classes when I first started out. But when I started performing at events with friends and school seniors and competing in a team, we’d get monetary awards, and I’d use the money to join classes.

I didn’t think much about these classes, but I’d get feedback like, ‘Zaihar, you’ve improved a lot and you’re moving so much better now’. Ever since then, I went into this cycle of joining competitions, winning, getting money and using the money to attend more dance classes.

And because of that, I started getting more recognition and opportunities, like choreographing for artists, music videos and advertisements.

You know, there’s this stereotype that Malays are lazy. So, when I get selected by key figures in the dance industry to represent Singapore at international competitions, I am very proud to show that Singaporeans can make it. It makes me prouder to be Malay as well.

(Part 2 in comments section)

“I started volunteering in the gender advocacy s

“I started volunteering in the gender advocacy scene at 16 because of my single mother. Growing up, I witnessed her financial and mental health struggles as she became both the sole breadwinner and homemaker almost overnight.

Losing her husband to lung cancer, she was forced to take on the role of both dad and mom for my sisters and I. The barriers that she conquered, however, were an unfamiliar concept to most of my peers in primary and secondary school.

I was thus drawn to finding other people like my mom and I, and bringing our issues – my mother’s issues, more importantly – closer to others. This led me to volunteer for @awaresingapore (Association of Women for Action and Research), where I contributed to many projects.

These included a project to cultivate greater sensitivity in police interviews of sexual assault survivors, and the Support and Housing Enablement (SHE) Project, which helped single mothers find homes for them and their children to live in.

I spent three years volunteering for AWARE, and also co-founded a project with @daughtersoftomorrow in Junior College (JC) to support women in financially precarious positions. Concurrently, these three years led to the next stage of my life: National Service.

Enlisting into the army, I was met with a new environment – one that was male-dominated and heteronormative. It wasn’t institutional, but more casual and everyday. I heard jokes that degrade women, ranging from objectification to even rape.

How is it that I could previously find a community in AWARE and DOT that was so inclusive, and suddenly find myself in a drastically different environment?

Men today are still trapped by social conventions of toxic masculinity. This hinders them from being in touch with their emotions and expressing them healthily through vulnerability with loved ones. As a result, some of us have lower rates of emotional literacy and intelligence.

It dawned on me that we still have a long way to go in terms of changing mindsets. Rallying my friends from a variety of schools, I initiated @samasingapore (Students Advocate for Empowerment and Awareness) to spark that mindset change...

Load More... Follow on Instagram

Watch Us On YouTube

Kenny Leck Discusses the BooksActually 24-Hour Fundraising Event | Upcoming EP3

Muhamad "The Chosen Wan" Ridhwan Discusses "Roar of Singapore IV" | Upcoming EP2

Pooja Nansi and Jessica Bellamy Discuss "Thick Beats for Good Girls" | Upcoming EP1

Related

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

X

%d bloggers like this: